The Unwired Medic

Teaching EMS providers & other public safety pros about using mobile tech to improve their practice, patient care, continuing education, scene safety, general entertainment, & productivity.

Feast Yer Eyes!

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I’ve been out of the blogosphere for a few months (3 jobs, a family, and full-time school to get my BS-IT will force you to do that). Well, if this Jarhead expects to make a triumphant return, I guess this is about the best reason to have…

Team Unwired Medic” Joins The

Kilted To Kick Cancer – 2014 Campaign

This will be my first year participating in the Kilted Army. I feel so strongly about supporting this year that I’m getting my very first kilt, even though I haven’t the faintest idea how Scottish I am. But, I am Once A Marine, so I’ve at least earned the right to sport the Leatherneck Tartan. So, ladies and mateys, get ready to…

“Feast yer eyes!”



That’s (an older) me, flashing Kelly Grayson, by the way. Join me and the rest of the Kilted To Kick Cancer (KTKC) Army throughout September as we raise awareness (and funds) for Prostate and Testicular cancers.  So far, in its short history, KTKC has raised over $50,000 for male-specific cancers. Jump in and help us raise more. Raise awareness by talking with your bro’s. Need some talking points? Got ’em right here…

More euphemisms and puns than you can shake a stick at:

  • Don’t get sick – Check your stick!
  • Don’t be a putz – Check your nuts!
  • Before it turns black, check your sack!
  • Don’t be a dud – Every year, check your blood!
  • Although it ain’t super to get checked in the pooper, your monkey will say thanks during the subsequent spanks!
  • Check your prostate before you become prostrate!
  • Don’t be silly – Go see your doctor and check your willy!
  • Don’t get the funk – Check your junk!
  • Check ’em in the shower – You have the power!
  • You can’t go wrong if you check your schlong!
  • Here’s a PSA to get your annual PSA!
  • Even a monk needs to check his junk!

Feel free to comment with your own. 🙂

This is my rifle! This is my gun!

This is my rifle, this is my gun! This one’s for fighting, this one’s for fun! – From Stanley Kubrick’s 1987 movie, “Full Metal Jacket”.

Now, for a brief (hahaha, brief) pause in the silliness – Time for some serious facts:

September is prostate cancer awareness month. According to the American Cancer Society, 1 in 7 men will contract prostate cancer, whereas 1 in 8 women will develop invasive breast cancer. Men, it is just as fatal as breast cancer (which, incidentally, also can affect men). Presently, 1 in 36 men will die from prostate cancer, just like 1 in 36 women will die from breast cancer. This trails just behind lung cancer deaths for both sexes. Additionally about 1 in 270 men will contract testicular cancer. These are mostly treatable diseases. Prostate cancer is predominantly diagnosed in mature men (>60), but it isn’t exclusively old man’s diseases. Some are diagnosed as early as their 40’s. In fact, testicular cancer is more of a younger man’s disease, most prominent in post-adolescent and middle-aged men. 1 in 5,000 will die from testicular cancer. Serious enough?

Are you willing to live with those risks? What about you as a cancer survivor? Are you willing to live with the complications? It’s not just about live-or-die. What about impaired sexual function? Sex is an important part of life and a man’s self-image, in your teens, adulthood, and, yes, even your years in maturity (eww, grandparent nookie!). Besides, if sex wasn’t so great, we wouldn’t have a booming world population, right? What about just going to the bathroom? Is it more honorable to be stoic and go 30x/day and to get up at least 4x/night to dribble a little pee than to be the guy who doesn’t have to fight his own body to pee?  I don’t know about you, but my penis is EXIT ONLY! I don’t relish the idea of having to stick a catheter or dilator wand (read: Roto-Rooter) up there just to go to the bathroom.

As is mentioned on the KTKC blog PSA, if 1 in 36 men were getting killed by buses, we’d be doing something more about it. Now is the time! You are the person to act!


How can you help?

The first step is to spread awareness. Wear a kilt – ladies, there are kilts designed for you too. Talk to other men (and women!) about exactly “what’s going on under there”. Get a KTKC t-shirt and wear it everywhere you can, whether you have a kilt or not. Share this post on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, Google+, MySpace, AOL, Prodigy, Earthlink, your own webpage, e-mail, or even by word of mouth. Also, check out this video by The Happy Medic and Motorcop, “Dunk Your Junk” at Don’t forget to share it too!

Second, get yer arse to the doctor! Literally! Get your annual prostate exam. Suck it up, buttercup! Drop your drawers or lift your kilt and get poked and prodded. Is it uncomfortable? Perhaps, but it isn’t as bad as a mammogram, right ladies? Oh, and speaking to the ladies, nothing can move a stubborn ox like a good nagging from the old ball and chain. (See what I did there?) Be relentless and remind him that his duties to you and family include taking care of himself. Ladies, you get your annual squishy smooshy, so make him go get his annual blood test and grab his knees. It’s only fair, right!

Third, to find a cure takes research; to research takes money. Funding for research of causes and treatments for these cancers matters. Last year, it was 1 in 6 men. Now it’s 1 in 7 men. It may not seem like a lot of difference, But personally, I’d rather be one of the seven that doesn’t get prostate cancer or can at least catch it early.

To provide awareness campaigns also takes money. If you are so motivated and enabled, PLEASE make a tax-deductible donation to KTKC, a 501(c)3 organization, on the following page:

Follow the tips in this infogram to help Team Unwired Medic win the team contest! Whether you donate and pick Team Unwired Medic, don’t donate and can spread awareness, or if you donate without picking my team, THANK YOU!!!

KTKC Team Donation Helper

Select “Team Unwired Medic” to help us win!


Thanks for helping to raise awareness! Now go forth and spread the, um… er… good news… in a kilt!

Kilted To Kick Cancer

Kilted To Kick Cancer

One Comment

  1. I am working to get some guys from Downeast EMS to get on board with this. So far it is me and one other guy

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