I have to say I find more confidence in a product advertised on an infomercial. When they slash 75% off the retail price, then as I’m picking up my phone to dial and order, they double-down and offer a second identical item and add some special bonuses for just the cost of separate postage and handling! Mind blown! Then they add an additional money back guarantee, so I feel like I have nothing to lose!
I wonder if we can start selling backboards this way?
They’re so versatile! Use them as a coffee table or a spare surfboard, then, when you are out of project space, flip it and turn it into a portable workbench! Did granny FDGB? Get her to the car with your backboard and some duct tape!
Did the po-po kick down your door in another bullsh– raid? Just take two backboards and tape them to the door frame! Got a saggy mattress? Just slip your backboard between the mattress and boxspring! Having a hard time painting that second floor of your house? Just place a backboard between two ladders and VOILA! Instant plank!
Don’t wait! Order now… But, wait, if you call in the next 30 seconds, we’ll throw in a second backboard ABSOLUTELY FREE!!! (Just pay separate processing and handling) Not enough? Well act now and we’ll throw in a set of removable seatbelts and a roll of camouflage duct tape! Call 1-800-4-DARWIN right now!
Disclaimers: Not available in all areas. Product shown may not be identical to the product you receive. This post is satirical. If you don’t understand the word “satirical”, please visit the following website: http://www.thefreedictionary.com/satirical